


my hands are cold (my heart is gold)

by essential_invisible



Category: Sea Patrol (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 16:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18237506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essential_invisible/pseuds/essential_invisible
Summary: A boarding gone slightly wrong changes the course of a relationship. Dutchy, Kate, post 4.03.





	1. I was doing just fine (before I met you)

**Author's Note:**

> an: so I've basically binge watched Sea Patrol in the last few weeks, and am diving back into fandom. First fic in a while, but Kate and Dutchy have kinda done me in. I'm hoping this is a first in a series, following a somewhat alternate start to their relationship, but this can be read as a standalone, which is why it's being marked as complete. Please let me know what you think (good or bad!).
> 
> eta: i've had some inspiration hit, so this is going to continue as a series.

**timeline:** between 4.03 - The Right Stuff & 4.04 - Ransom with one point of difference - Kate and Mike don't sleep together in 4.02.

**pov:** dutchy

**i was doing just fine (before i met you)**

:::

 

"What the hell do you think you're pulling out there?"  
  
He stopped at the sound of the voice, then turned, his eyes meeting hers as he tried to keep the pain from showing on his face. Getting shoved down from the deck to the hold packed full of rotting crates on a FFV hadn’t been the highlight of his day. All he wanted now was to get off the ship and enjoy what was left of his shore leave. "I’m just doing my job, Ma’am.”  
  
She raised her eyebrows at him, then stepped inside the ward room, forcefully closing the door behind her. "You know, I really don’t get you Dutchy. You stepped in front of me during a boarding, again, and this time you got hurt."  
  
"It’s my job to protect you -."  
  
"It’s not your job to protect me, Dutchy. I can look after myself, and I need you to trust me out there," she told him as she stepped closer.  
  
"You saw what happened out there, X – if you’d gone down those stairs and through those crates, I can guarantee we’d be having a very different discussion right now," Dylan shot back, stepping closer himself, wincing as his muscles protested. "You’re not even half my size, that fall could have seriously hurt you." He could visualise it as he spoke, and he moved forward without noticing, still caught up in the nightmarish reel playing out in his head. _The X, limbs flailing, crashing through crates and bottles, blood – she was so small, tiny really, what had been a few scrapes and bruises on him -_  
  
"Okay, maybe you weren’t entirely wrong this time," she allowed, nodding slightly. "But I need you to trust me Dutchy – and if you can’t trust me, then trust that I can do the job."  
  
“Look X, I’m just doing my job,” he said, leaning forward. Even leaning as he was, she was still a good head shorter than him. “And I need _you_ to let me do it.”  
  
“Dutchy, I’ve been XO on this ship for almost 2 years now, I can handle myself!” She shook her head, and then stepped forward, refusing to be intimidated. “God, I never had these issues with Buffer, even when I first came on board!”

Dylan scowled, looking away, the mention of his predecessor not helping his mood any. Sailors were posted to different ships all the time, and generally most adapted – the Hammersley crew hadn’t been unwelcoming as such, but some hadn’t necessarily held back on the fact that they missed their crewmates. That they, that _she_ , still referred to him as ‘Buffer’, as if that had been a role filled and was now no longer needed, that _Dylan_ wasn’t needed – “ _I’m_ your buffer, X,” he bit out, his eyes finding hers again.

Kate shook her head, a hand reaching up to push her hair out of her face. “Damnit Dutchy, I didn’t mean it like that.” She stared up at him, regret evident on her face. “Look, I don’t – ”

“It’s okay, X,” Dylan interrupted, needing her to stop talking. If she asked him again, looking up at him with those eyes, he wasn’t entirely sure that he’d be able to stop the whole sordid mess from spilling out. She was angry at him, but anger was better than condemnation, or worse, pity. “Let it go, Kate.”

She raised her eyebrows, her eyes challenging. “I can’t let it go, _Dylan_.”

If he was asked later, Dylan couldn’t have said why he’d done it. Oh there were a number of possible reasons – he wanted off this damn ship, he wanted to get kicked out of the Navy for breaking frat regs, he didn’t want to tell her the truth, her face, her eyes, the damned way she’d just said his name – he ducked his head, hesitating for a sparse second before sliding his mouth against hers.

Kate sucked in a breath, but she didn’t move, didn’t step away even as he kissed her again and he wondered if he hadn’t shocked her still. When her hands moved to his shoulders, he shifted back imperceptibly, waiting for her to shove him away. Instead, one hand curled around the back of his neck, pulling him down so that she could return his kiss. His hands moved of their own volition, one reaching up to cradle her shoulder, the other moving through the silky strands of her hair. Dylan pressed closer, changing the angle of their mouths, deepening the kiss, feeling a deep thrum of satisfaction when she allowed the movement, relaxing into him.

A loud burst of laughter in the corridor, and Swain’s cheerful voice pulled them apart. Dylan stared down at her, taking in her wide eyes and flushed cheeks. Pulling his hands from her hair, he watched as she blinked up at him, and opened her mouth. He’d take the rip if she wanted to give him one, but damnit, she’d kissed him back.

“Oh, sorry – didn’t realize you were in here X,” Swain interrupted, swing the door open. “We’re just getting ready to dock.”

“Uh,” she cleared her throat, looking away from Dylan to meet Swain’s eyes. “It’s okay, I was just leaving.”

Swain shifted so that she could move through the doorway, before turning back to Dylan. “Rip you a new one, did she?” He smiled at Dylan sympathetically. “Never mind, can’t have been worse than when Buffer screwed up.”

Dylan scowled. The thought of Kate dealing with _Buffer’s_ screw up the way she’d dealt with his sent his mood plummeting back to earth. _God, what was he doing? He’d be lucky if she didn’t have him written up._ He stared at the doorway she’d left through, barely aware of Swain’s sympathetic smile shifting to a stifled smirk.

“It’s like that it, is it?” Swain waited at the door, shaking his head. “C’mon mate, you can get the first round and tell me all about it.”

:::


	2. trying to find the truth (sometimes the heart is deceiving)

**trying to find the truth (sometimes the heart is deceiving)**

:::

 

“Lick, sip, suck, go!” Behind her, Kate could hear the raucous laughter of her crew as they crowded around the bar. She’d escaped as soon as they’d brought out the tequila – she could down a guava mojo with the best of them, but tequila hit her hard and fast, and the last thing she needed was to be blitzed around her shipmates.

 

She walked out of the dimly lit club and into the crowded streets – it was still fairly early, but Mike had only granted them Cinderella leave. Just the thought of him was enough to kill the light buzz she had going. She’d really thought they might have had a chance to make things work – he’d finally, _finally_ , taken a shore leave posting and they’d even had a date planned. Then the debacle with 2Dads and the crocodile had happened, and she’d spent her date night with Nikki and a bottle of wine. She’d been ready to reconsider, had decided that _maybe_ Mike wasn’t an emotional coward, had been so close to calling him – and then he’d turned up on the Hammersley, once again her CO. He’d made some half-hearted comment about keeping this a short posting, but Kate wasn’t blind. She’d seen how he was with Maxine and Ryan – he hadn’t been that open with her in years.

 

Kate had spent most of this patrol avoiding him where she could, in the hopes of marshalling her thoughts and trying to figure out where she stood.

 

And then Dutchy had blindsided her in the wardroom.

 

Kate resisted the urge to re-join the crew and drink her problems away. As if she didn’t have enough man drama in her life! That kiss had come out of nowhere – one minute they’d both been having a go at each other again, the next his lips had been on hers. She’d kissed him back. That’s where she kept getting stuck - what on earth had she been thinking? She wasn’t blind, she knew that Dutchy was very attractive, but it was Mike that she was meant to be committed to.

 

Except she clearly wasn’t invested enough to derail her career. The thought had occurred to her previously, but it had been at the forefront more often than not, lately. She had feelings for Mike, but she wasn’t going to request a transfer off the ship – she hadn’t had enough experience yet that a shore posting would be beneficial for her, and another ship would just mean that she would never see him. Mike, on the other hand, had been turning down promotions right and left – she’d heard enough complaints about Marshall’s ‘requests’ in the past to know that he could have asked for a shore posting in Cairns. Except he hadn’t – and didn’t that mean he wasn’t invested enough in her? She’d told him the truth earlier – she really wasn’t prepared to settle for second best, and she hadn’t only been talking about Dutchy.

 

For all his talk about keeping it professional, he also hadn’t taken her issues with Dutchy seriously enough in her opinion – the black eye not-withstanding, Kate needed a buffer who worked with her, not around her. She’d had hoped the boarding on this patrol would have gone better, but he’d still been too over-protective. While she was grateful that she hadn’t been the one to take the shove into the crates, she was his XO. It was a risk she should have taken. He’d already been hurt far too much during the short time he’d been on the Hammersley – he’d copped a beating while saving Ryan, and then what happened today –

 

Kate shook her head, annoyed with herself. She’d gone out in the hopes of clearing her mind, but there she went, dredging it all up again. She focused on her surroundings, determined to put the Hammersley, her CO and her buffer out of mind for the rest of the evening. She’d left the crew behind, Mike was still on the ship, and she still had hours of leave coming to her. She was going to make the most of it.

 

“X, hey, X!”

 

Kate sighed, shoulders slouching a little. She should’ve known better than to jinx it, even in her thoughts. She turned around, not feeling anywhere near ready for this confrontation. “Dutchy – I thought you were with the rest of the crew?”

 

The tall blond shrugged. “Not much fun when I can’t drink – Swaino’s got me on pain killers.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Kate winced inwardly. What was she meant to say to him? She wasn’t going to bring up the kiss. She didn’t even want to think about the kiss (not that it stopped her mind from flashing back to the heat radiating from his body, the heavy weight of his large hands in her hair – _damnit Kate_ ) She could feel the flush rising on her cheeks, and hoped he’d put it down to her drinking.

 

“Listen, X – ” Dutchy paused, and she took vicious satisfaction in knowing that he was uncomfortable as well. “About earlier,”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She cut in swiftly. “We’ll just chalk it up to high emotions, yeah?” She wasn’t going to have this conversation with him here. Or at all.

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

“Oh, don’t do that.” Kate bit out, annoyed.

 

“I’m sorry?” Dutchy was starting to look annoyed as well. “I was agreeing with you.”

 

“The whole ‘yes, ma’am’ thing – we both know that you have a problem with me.” She was still sore about that – everybody else on the ship seemed to get on great with him, his previous _female_ commander had given him a glowing recommendation – so what his issue with _her_?

 

“Not this again,” he shot back. “I’ve told you, I’m just doing my job.” He stepped towards her, and Kate instinctively stepped back. He looked startled, and a little resigned. “I’m not going to hurt you, X.”

 

Kate wasn’t going to lie to him. “I know that. I’m not scared of you.” Yeah, he could be a little intimidating, but while she might have issues with him as a buffer, she didn’t think he’d ever hurt her physically. She’d stepped back for another reason entirely – not that she really thought he’d kiss her again, but then again, she hadn’t been expecting their earlier kiss, either. And now she was thinking about it again. She flushed again, cursing her pale skin.

 

He raised his eyebrow, before smiling a little. “Oh.”

 

There was a wealth of emotion in that one word, but she wasn’t going to touch it with a ten-foot pole. “Look Dutchy, we have to find a way to work together, or this isn’t going to end well.”

 

“We’ll settle, X.” He looked uncomfortable. “Maybe it’s just going to take time.”

 

Yeah, time and one of them being less stubborn, which had about as much of a chance as happening as hell freezing over, so where did that leave them? “Yeah, maybe.”

 

They stood in silence for a long minute, before Kate decided to offer an olive branch. “We’ve still got a few hours of leave left. I’m going to have a look around the markets.” She left it open-ended, giving him the option to join her if he wanted. She wasn’t sure which option she preferred. Judging from the torn look on his face he wasn’t either.

 

She sighed. Maybe she’d have been better off with the tequila shots.

:::


End file.
